Another trip tomorrow to go visit M. We will see what this brings.
We have not heard much in the way of how she is fairing, but again, no news is good news.
We get letters and cards from her and she seems happy. She is working the program and trying to get better. Only time will tell.
Her letters tell us of fellow roommates who have left and started using again, another one who tried to jump of the roof of the place, etc. Makes me wonder what the heck is going on inside M's head and whether she truly is ok.
I had a mild panic attack two nights ago realizing that we only have 30 days to go of the original 90. 90 seemed so far away and 30 seems like tomorrow. I am terrified of what this brings and what it means for M.
Hopefully we will come home with some clear answers.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Not much going on....
So it has been awhile since I have been on these pages and I suppose that is a good thing.
It gets really frustrating that we don't hear much from out west in regards to M, but then they keep telling me that no news is good news. I guess....
Easter. We were all excited about this date for a couple of reasons. One, M was going to be phased up in her program. This means she would be given more freedoms and one of them would be going out on her own. She was looking forward to this so she could attend church on Easter Sunday. She has already picked out which church she would attend. Alas, it was not meant to be.
M ended up in the ER that morning with a kidney infection and in a lot of pain. With it being Easter all the pharmacies were closed and only one does of antibiotics and pain killers were given to her at the hospital. She had to spend the next 24 hrs. in pain but maybe that made her stronger???
M was also not phased up for various reasons, so that means no phone privileges. This is upsetting to me because I was hoping to talk to her on the phone and hear her voice more often. Oh well. There are consequences in life!!
It is amazing how life goes on in the mist of turmoil and one must adapt. I wish I could say that I think of her constantly and pine away to hold her, but that would not be the case. Don't get me wrong, she is on my mind everyday but not like she was.
My family here at home needs me and that has come home in full force this week. I feel like I betray her by not thinking about her and the situation 24/7 but I know that is not true.
I finish my thoughts for today waiting for a response to my email about her and to get an update on all that has been going on. Time will tell.
It gets really frustrating that we don't hear much from out west in regards to M, but then they keep telling me that no news is good news. I guess....
Easter. We were all excited about this date for a couple of reasons. One, M was going to be phased up in her program. This means she would be given more freedoms and one of them would be going out on her own. She was looking forward to this so she could attend church on Easter Sunday. She has already picked out which church she would attend. Alas, it was not meant to be.
M ended up in the ER that morning with a kidney infection and in a lot of pain. With it being Easter all the pharmacies were closed and only one does of antibiotics and pain killers were given to her at the hospital. She had to spend the next 24 hrs. in pain but maybe that made her stronger???
M was also not phased up for various reasons, so that means no phone privileges. This is upsetting to me because I was hoping to talk to her on the phone and hear her voice more often. Oh well. There are consequences in life!!
It is amazing how life goes on in the mist of turmoil and one must adapt. I wish I could say that I think of her constantly and pine away to hold her, but that would not be the case. Don't get me wrong, she is on my mind everyday but not like she was.
My family here at home needs me and that has come home in full force this week. I feel like I betray her by not thinking about her and the situation 24/7 but I know that is not true.
I finish my thoughts for today waiting for a response to my email about her and to get an update on all that has been going on. Time will tell.
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