Had lunch with a girlfriend yesterday who has been a very good friend through all of this and I can't thank her enough for all her help and support.
She has known M since she was 1 and we were neighbors down in my old neighborhood. We became good friends when are babies were little because our kids were the "spirited" ones of the group.
I was recounting a lunch I had had with another mutual friend and her worry about one her children not taking the right path. I mentioned how I felt bad because there was absolutely nothing I could say to reassure her.
I feel we have done all the "right" things when it comes to parenting my kids. I have always been very open about things, very vocal about addictions in our family, we have discussed drug and alcohol abuse and the consequences of early sex, etc. My daughter and I shared a very close relationship where she told me everything, at times more than I wanted to know, but look where we still ended up.
So no, I do not know what to say to anyone to reassure them that what they are doing is right or wrong or that their child won't take a similar path.

My old neighbor yesterday started reminiscing about M and what she was like as a child. M was born 2 weeks early on Christmas eve. Brought to me in the hospital on Christmas Day in a big stocking. She did not cry for her first two days and then hardly ever did after that. She nursed for 15 min. and was done for the next 3 hours. At two I was told she was a "spirited" child, imagine an electronic item unplugged but still behaving as if plugged in.
M lived without fear. She was always at the top top of the play scape, running down the sidewalk at full speed, standing up to anyone she felt was doing wrong and defending those she felt were being wronged. Always taking new challenges head on and again with no fear. Most of all, always ready and willing for the next adventure and where it would take her.
Because of this, we were surprised she didn't go off to college (or couldn't) but sitting at lunch yesterday I realized there is no surprise for me that she jumped in two feet first and with full speed into the drug world and took to it so quickly.