So, we are on day 4 of my child being away and it has been 2 days since we have spoken to her. I am still in a state of "there". How do I describe "there"? It is a mix of numbness, relief, hurt and most of all fear.
Having to put your precious child into a rehab program because they have chosen a path that is destructive to them, is not something I wish on anyone.
I am full of relief at the moment because she is at the moment safe and the drama that surrounds addiction is temporarily on hold. The numbness I feel is my minds ability to put the fear, sadness and anger I feel into a compartment that in itself is "away" for the next how many days she will be away.
What does this do for the ones left at home? Everyone reacts differently. One withdraws into themselves, another stays busy and distracted and another goes about life as if nothing has happened. We all act all these ways, but they stand out more in one or the other and none of them are right or wrong ways to behave.
The hurt one feels because they are hurt from lack of contact from ones they thought were friends, where the other understands that people don't like to associate with something that could very well happen to them.
What is always surprising are the acquaintances who you least expect and offer the love, support and prayers one so needs.
So, what is my purpose and goal with this blog? One, to have an outlet to vent. Two, to maybe help someone out there on the same path I am on and let them know they are not alone.
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I can imagine how challenging this process will be. {{{hugs}}} to you all!! I hope to help in any way that I can. Just let me know what I can do. <3
ReplyDeleteAs you always know with full certainly, I am here and I will pray. This is a process for everyone in the family. May God wrap his arms around you all and give you strength and comfort.
ReplyDeleteMy prayers are with you, Sandra!
ReplyDeleteOh, Sandra , I did not know. First and foremost, know that you & your family will be in my prayers. I am humbled by your courage to share. I think it is a good thing for you to "let it out." We can hold you and support you this way.
ReplyDeleteLife's journey takes us down so many roads. I can't imagine the pain of watching your child go down one that you would not have chosen. God uses many avenues to stretch us into His mold for us. Just keep repeating to yourself, "He has a plan. He has a plan. He has a plan." Never doubt that we are steadfast friends. Should your or anyone in your family need ANYTHING, please reach out. LOVE
Each person is a hero and an oracle to somebody. Sandra, in my book, you are a hero. To be able, at any moment, to sacrifice what you are for what you can and will become is very courageous. It is perfectly ok to be scared, who wouldn't? but being afraid and going on anyhow is admirable.
ReplyDeletePlease know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your entire family.
“God places the heaviest burden on those who can carry its weight.”
Monica