Hardest thing I have ever done....

Haven't blogged in a few days. A lot has gone on. To say that I am tired would be an understatement.
M was not doing well at the treatment center she was at and we had to find a new facility for her. The facility we found turned out to be across the country in California. In a whirlwind of 24 hours, we had her out of one place and she and I were on a plane and her checked in and me back home.

Her emotions were all over the place as one can imagine. It was heartbreaking to see her look out the car window and the plane window with tears silently streaming down her face. The car ride to the airport was even harder with her balling her eyes out while her two younger brothers on either side of her held her.

The first plane ride was hard. We changed planes in DFW and she was a little better. By the time we got to our destination, she was as good as can be expected.

She is in a beautiful place and somewhere she will get the help she needs. Having to say goodbye and walk away is the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. I was leaving her somewhere unfamiliar, with people I do not know, miles away from us. She cried, I cried and made the director swear on his life he would take care of my baby.

My trip home was very surreal. I am numb again, but hopeful, but scared shit less, but positive all at the same time.

Every one's prayers and support have been amazing and so welcome. I cannot thank all of you enough and to let you know how incredibly thankful we are for all of it.